Renewal
by Reader-chan
Summary: He has only ever hurt everything he touched. She doesn't want to love him anymore. But they still gravitate towards each other. Even if she runs away. Even if he doesn't stop her. Sasusaku
1. Chapter 1

Hi, Reader-chan here!

Thank you all of you for reading this story and even bigger thanks to people who read the previous one. Whew! this was long and having written it through the night, i can tell you for a face(...for a fact...see how sleepy I am), I don't need eyeliner to look like Gaara before.

BLAH's over

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did why would I be writing fanfiction? seriously, this shit right here would have been canon.

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**Renewal**

His yearlong probation is over and now and, ideally, he's a free man. He probably got off easy because of his contribution to defeating Madara and Obito in their crazy plan and more importantly because his best friend is the Hokage. Naruto is waiting for him looking as enthusiastic as ever. In fact all of Rookie Nine is here, even that annoying man who replaced him, Sai with the fakest smile he has ever seen. She, of course, is missing…but then she always is. He thinks nothing of it. It is simply an observation made subconsciously because he's a shinobi. There was nothing more to it. Nothing at all…right?

He ignores the tiniest flicker of doubt that has started flitting around his thoughts whenever she is the subject because it is irrelevant whether he wishes them to be better teammates again or not because no matter what he does now, it's over. She doesn't want to see him and he tells himself if that is what she wants he'll give her that. He's the one who screwed everything up and took all the wrong decisions so if this is all he has left to give her, he owes her that and that he will give it to her.

He does see her anyway, walking home from work the next day. Her beautiful pink hair is tied up in a loose messy bun which lets some of her hair out of it and lets it drop onto her eyes. She looks tired but her smile is brilliant and beautiful as she talks to the throng of children she is walking home with.

He almost scowls reflexively to shoo her away until he remembers that it isn't necessary. She doesn't want to talk to him anyway. It doesn't really sink in until he sees her take a sharp turn away from the rooftop he was watching her from because she doesn't even spare him a glance.

-X-

When he sees her again a whole year later, he is unprepared for the regret that hits him almost physically. She looks a lot thinner. Almost anorexic, in fact, and it scares him. The children still flock around her like they did when he last saw her and though she looks more tired than he ever remembers seeing her, she smiles at the children anyway. It is a feeble imitation of what it once was, but it is still beautiful and feels oddly out of place on her beaten down frame.

Naruto had been telling him nearly every time they met, which was a lot considering he was Captain of an ANBU squad now, that she isn't taking care of herself and as her teammate, he should feel obligated to back him up while he tells her to start eating and sleeping. So to speak he should have expected her to be looking unhealthy, but she doesn't look unhealthy, he thinks as he gives her a once over and her wobbly steps move towards her apartment. He's seen that look on his own face when his parents died. It's deathly.

A week in he finds himself at the hospital. He's avoided this place like the plague since he got back because he doesn't want to bump into her. In fact he has managed to escape nearly all his missions unscathed or with injuries he could look after himself and the few times he did visit the place, she was otherwise occupied. In fact, he thinks it's the universe laughing at him that he managed to get hit by Naruto during a spar as hard as he did to have broken his arm, no, destroyed the entire bone structure of it.

The moment he entered the hospital, he is immediately rushed in by the nurses and he sees them actually raise an eyebrow when they see it, which is probably the most he's seen them react. He hears alarmed whispers of among them and nearly bolts because he is not prepared to be fawned over by a ghostly looking Sakura. She doesn't fawn over him. At all. She gives his arm a once over and immediately sets to work. It actually feels nice, how her chakra seeps into him gently mending what is broken in him.

He has an urge to tell her he is sorry. He doesn't. It's not about his stupid Uchiha pride anymore; it's the guilt. Crushing ever present guilt that glues his mouth shut as she dexterously works on his arm. A strand of hair escapes her ponytail and he almost reaches out with his good arm to push it back but he doesn't.

He thinks of the flinch that had followed the first time he'd touched her by accident before his probation and the calmness her chakra had been inducing in him making the pain go away bit by bit is suddenly swallowed by dark guilt and regret. He never really thought it would end up like this. She looks up from healing him with a frown on her tired face, as if she sensed that change in his mood.

She is beautiful. Tired, broken and scarily thin, but it can't take away how beautiful she is and for the first time, he is hit by a tidal wave of longing, an urge to reach out and will her to come back, so it could be like it used to be and his hands weren't stained with the blood of so many people and that she could fix him and he could fix her and everything would be okay again.

"Is something wrong, Uchicha-san? Perhaps you would like me to dull the pain receptors of your arm a little more? Am I making it hurt more than it did before?"

Uchiha-san.

She called him Uchiha-san… it hits him harder than he expected. It felt like being dumped in an icy lake on a cold winter night. He supposes he deserved it so he swallows the lump that has formed in his throat and shakes his head and again when she asks him if he is sure.

-X-

"A mission with Sakura?" he repeats to Naruto almost too surprised to respond in the yes-or-no fashion he expected.

"Yes. So will you do it or do I have to hunt down another fricking ANBU's ass to do it for you?" Naruto responds testily. He is late on his paperwork and despite help from the Hyuuga girl whom he's dating; he is rather slow at it and is not in the best mood.

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a yes."

The change in demeanor is suspicious. Naruto is probably attempting for the twentieth time in fifteen months to get him and Sakura to talk again. Plans with the same motive had often been jeopardized by either one or both of them via absence. This time, it turns out, she has agreed.

The mission is relatively difficult which is why he has a medic nin by his side. Sakura is the epitome of professionalism as she patches him up first and herself after in spite of his protests.

She collapses just a few hundred meters from the Konoha gates. He loses his cool. He thinks for a few horrible seconds that she is dying. It takes a few minutes for the fact that she is simply unconscious to sink in. He cusses at himself for not noticing how tired she was while he's been sneaking glances at her for a crack at the reason for her sudden weight loss or why she isn't taking care of herself or how Tsunade-sama is allowing it.

In an instant, she is in his arms and he is speeding towards Konoha hospital. He wonders how someone who was as good a medic as her allowed this to happen to herself. He thinks back on when he had seen her a few weeks ago looking frail and thin…he should have done something. He should have told her to look after herself, force her to look after herself. She is an integral part of his small world that has been healing slowly since the death of his family, since realizing Itachi's only crime ever had been to love him. He can't lose anything else. Not her. Not now, not ever.

Tsunade-sama tells him and a worried Naruto that she hasn't been eating properly for almost two months now. Her sugar is low and she's low on vitamins. It isn't life threatening yet, and can be fixed via chakra almost instantly or by adopting a healthier lifestyle. However, she thinks Sakura needs to learn the hard way how important it is for her to learn to take care of herself and gives her a three week leave and suggests it be under his supervision apparently because she does not wish to lose any nurses on her now and because he clearly knows how to take care of himself apparent by his lack of visits to the hospital. Naruto smiles conspiratorially and agrees right away.

-X-

Three days later he finds himself walking home a healthier but not quiet healthy Sakura carrying her bag of clothes simply because he wanted to, and a paper with instructions on it from Tsunade-sama. She was ticked off by him picking up her bag before her. It is obvious by the scowl on her face. Or perhaps she is ticked off because she has to stay with him and the thought stings more than he thought it would. After all, they've nearly killed each other a few times now and he's tried to do it more than her. He's the one who needs to back off and wait for her to accept him again, but for some reason, he wishes that she would talk to him again, that they could be a team again, that she would not ignore him at all possible chances to do so.

"Sakura I-"he begins but is cut off by a sudden horror as he sees blood on the floor.

She looks up at him with a scowl prepared to respond sharply until she sees the horror on his face and instantly, she is near him, her hand on his arm and a comforting "Sasuke?" out of her lips. He's still frozen rigid staring at that same point. She follows his gaze and figures it out.

"It's not human blood Sasuke…it's-"

"No," a strangled whisper escapes him. Without thinking, her arms are around him and there they are sitting in the middle of the street with her holding him and keeping him from breaking while he's pulled her to his lap and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

It takes a lot of "It's okay's" to convince him that it in fact is okay and in half an hour, she found herself sitting on the bed in one of the many guest rooms of the Uchiha manor.

She wondered what happened to the idea of "avoiding him means you'll get over him". It scares her how instantly she responded to him.

_It's because you're a medic. _

But for the first time in months and months of telling herself she's over him, she is doubtful.

She begins talking to him again after that.

-X-

She is the most annoying house guest ever. In fact, even though it is her who is sick, she is constantly forcing him to make healthier lifestyle changes.

"Two cups of coffee is all you should have in a day Sasuke."

"You need to eat more vegetables Sasuke."

"It won't hurt you to go easy on the tomatoes so you can eat other things Sasuke."

In fact she takes it upon herself to teach him to cook, mainly because she can't go train in the training grounds. Normally that would do nothing to restrain her but the threatening letter from "Tsunade and the Hospital" as it said is still on the bedside cabinet about the terrifying consequences of not resting for these few days that she has off and she will not risk it.

That is how he finds himself standing next to her on Friday night when he was supposed to be training. Naruto had barred him from the training grounds after 6 p.m. and those idiot guards made pretty damn sure that he didn't stay longer. He thinks she is rather uncomfortably close. So close in fact that he can smell her lavender scented soap and see her long pink eyelashes and…He needs to stop this. His heartbeat is speeding up and no matter how hard he tells himself to stop thinking and just to follow her instructions; he finds that his pulse is unwilling to listen.

Strangely, for the first time in so long, he is thankful for her presence, thankful for her words that have started being directed towards him again after so so long. He wonders if it's because of pity that she is talking to him again, because she saw his breakdown a few days ago. He wonders if she cares at all anymore or if she is just being polite.

They make curry. He can't remember the last time he's had curry. It's delicious as her presence in his dark dark world. She makes him feel like he deserves happiness. Like he could grow to become the man she deserves. Then again, he probably won't be that man, ever.

-X-

He is surprised the next morning when he opens his door to a man with short electric blue hair asking for "Sakura-san." He doesn't like this man; he doesn't even know the man but something about his tone as he says her name makes him uncomfortable. Before he can so much as turn, a blur of pink and red rushes past him straight into this man's arms as they both tumble down to the ground.

"Takeshi-kun!"

"Konichiwa Sakura-chan. I was wondering how you're doing." He says as he sits upright with Sakura on his lap.

"Oh I'm sorry to have worried you, I'm as fine as ever, dying of boredom, but as fine as it gets." She responds with a nervous chuckle.

Sasuke finds himself waiting for the man to make a move to get her off of him but he seems comfortable and content on the ground with her on his lap. This scene makes him uncomfortable for reasons beyond him. Or maybe for reasons he knows of but is unwilling to accept. Either way, he is pretty sure that this Takeshi and Sakura are going out or soon will be and he should be content to be a part of her world even if he is in the background. But for some reason, this hurts and he wants to be anywhere but there.

As if the heavens realized his plans of escape, Sakura turns to him just then and gets up and lends Takeshi a hand to help him up as well and turns to him.

"Sasuke, this is Takeshi-kun, he works with me at the hospital," she says looking at him and turns around her short hair whipping after her head leaving him in a world of lavender and vanilla. "And Takeshi-kun, this is Sasuke, he's my teammate."

"Yes I've heard of him." Takeshi says with a slight narrowing of his eyes.

"Hn, I'm going to train." He says quietly in a flurry to escape.

"But Sasuke, don't you want to have tea or anything with Takeshi-kun?" Sakura asks him. He shakes his head and marches off in the direction of the training grounds as fast as he can without looking like he's running. Something about the way Sakura talked to Takeshi pissed him off. She called him Takeshi-kun, he was just Sasuke.

_It doesn't matter. Shut up!_

_Oh but it does…. _

-X-

He's just had a nightmare. One about Itachi and his family and he is pretty sure he didn't scream but she is there and she is right next to him holding his hand whispering comforting words when he wakes up.

In his flurry of pain and fear of losing everything again, just seeing her makes him lose his long built self control and his arms are around her in seconds. He doesn't even think as he pulls her close holding her to him, breathing in a scent that is so Sakura and he is comforted by the fact that an integral part of his small healing world is safe.

She doesn't protest. She just puts her arms around him and allows him to pull her closer still and keeps murmuring comforting words as she quietly sends calming chakra to help soothe his nerves. He almost scowls and flinches away the moment he has calmed down enough to form coherent thought but he remembers Takeshi and subconsciously pulls her closer still and for the first time in a long, long time, he is at peace.

His mind, however, being the twisted, psychotic thing it is reminds him a few moments later, how she warmly held Takeshi. Unexpectedly, or maybe expectedly, it upsets him and in a few moments he forces his arms to let her go and she slowly shifts away from him. He regrets it instantly and misses her warmth. That is when he realizes that he needs her. Rather desperately.

The admittance doesn't shock him or leave him in self pity. He thinks it is probably because he has known it all along, probably since the first time he noticed her absence after his probation ended. Or maybe even earlier and he was too dense to notice. He realizes that he has to take what she will give him even if it is only so little. He will be content. With that he murmurs a whispery "Thank You" and finally, lies back down on his bed. He does, however, see her shocked face and tiny hint of a smile on her face before he does.

-X-

By the end of the second week with Sakura, he has learnt to cook a lot. Curry, something else with a gravy, stew, onigiri, fish soup, tomato soup (because he insisted that he wouldn't learn anything else until he learnt it), other dishes that involved cooked food and not just roasted or raw vegetables. Today, she insists on teaching him how to cook ramen.

"Hn."

"Sasuke this is not the time to be throwing a temper tantrum. Come on everybody loves ramen."

"Sakura, no."

"Look, Sasuke if you refuse, I'm going to Naruto's right this instant and telling him that you promised him three months of ramen for free, and Ino told me he's a bit stressed these days and we all know what he does when he's stressed."

_She wouldn't._

"That's right he goes on a ramen rampage."

_She wouldn't….right?_

"All right then, I'll just go tell him."

That's when it hits him.

"Sakura, you are under my care."

"So?"

"The instructions specifically say avoid strenuous exercise."

"Yeah, and Naruto is five minutes away."

"No, he isn't."

"What?"

"He's fifteen minutes away."

"No, I'm-"

"The only way you are getting there in five minutes is if you run with your chakra boosting you."

_Checkmate_

He allows himself a smirk. There is no way she can talk herself out of this. In fact she knows as well as him that Tsunade-sama's letter spoke of grave consequences for both of them in case the instructions are not followed.

She seems to realize there is no way she can talk out of this…which is probably why she decides to run straight past him out the door with a rebellious smile on her face. She, however, has underestimated both his speed and strength and her own residual weakness. On a normal day, Sakura was probably faster than him if not as fast, at this point, she was sluggish in comparison and she wasn't even halfway into the living room when he collides with her and pins her to the floor a smirk on his lips and on hers.

Suddenly they are both aware of how close they are to each other and how his body is pressed to hers and how they fit into each other like puzzle pieces. Breathing progressively gets harder and he is getting more and more aware of all the places he is touching her at…which is a lot of places.

She doesn't even struggle. She is just there under him breathing him in after what feels like forever. He has a distinctly masculine musky smell and it is comforting and exciting at the same time. Her heart is pounding away and it surprises her that he can't hear it. At that moment she realizes, Takeshi would never compare to him. He can try but Sasuke is too ingrained in her. And it scares her.

Sasuke finally gets up and offers her a hand to help her get up. She doesn't take it and shakily gets up.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, I'm not feeling well, and I think I'll go to bed now."

She rushes past him towards her room. He tells himself that it doesn't hurt that she's running away like he did once upon a time. He tells himself he deserves it. But that doesn't stop it from hurting. It doesn't stop him from realizing that he's fallen for her. He doesn't want to let it show, but his head hangs anyway and his hand falls back to his side, and that is all he has to show for his heart breaking.

-X-

Their last week is nothing besides uncomfortable. She doesn't insist on teaching him anything anymore. He thinks he likes it better that way. He doesn't even bother to argue with the voice in his head that calls him a liar because he knew he was lying even before he started telling himself that he doesn't miss her smile. Because no matter what he tells himself, he misses her talking to him, her smile, her lavender-vanilla scent. He misses it already, and he misses it a lot.

She beats him at waking up for the first time the day she has to leave. He wakes up to an empty house with her gone and her stuff missing and only a note in her beautiful, beautiful handwriting to justify their absence.

He has never been a sentimentalist but he goes to her empty room anyway and sits on her bed. He can still smell her lavender-vanilla scent and it scares him how soon it will be gone now that she has left.

He stares at the dresser where he imagines she must have done her hair for so many days. He wishes she never started talking to him again. That she never gave him what he had been missing for so long only to cruelly take it away. He supposes that's what she must have felt like when he left. So when his brain vindictively tells him he deserves it, he lets it. He doesn't even try to pick up the broken pieces of his heart.

Within an hour, he decides, he has wasted enough time. He can't force her to love him and he can't force himself not to love her. So he'll just have to live with it. He'll have to be the other guy, the one who loves her but she doesn't love. He will have to be okay with it because he's been too late and now he has to deal with the consequences.

He goes to the Hokage Tower and asks Naruto for a mission, the most dangerous one he has. Naruto looks at him rather surprised and asks him an immaculately phrased question only he could ask an Uchiha and get away alive.

"What's got your panties in a twist this early in the morning?"

"Dobe, if you value your life, you'll give me a mission and hope I kill someone who needs to be killed in your place."

"Puh-lease teme. You couldn't kill me if you wanted to."

About forty seconds of your death glare seems to make a light bulb click in the idiot's head.

"What did you do to Sakura-chan?"

It hurts to think about her and you really want to think about anything but her. So when the thought translates to a frown on your face, Naruto hands you a scroll.

"Good luck teme. I just gave an A rank mission to Sakura-chan a while ago too. Too much sexual tension isn't it?"

Naruto looks conspiratorially at him and wiggles his eyebrows. Sasuke doesn't dignify that with a response and instead proceeds to swiftly hit him on the head and leaves.

-X-

When he is back, sweaty and slightly bruised, Naruto doesn't even allow him the common comfort of even a shower. Naruto is freaking out. That wouldn't annoy him if he was doing it somewhere else. Like the Hyuuga compound where he knows for a fact that he hangs out more than the Hyuuga who pretends to be his rival likes. It makes him happier than he thought it would.

"What do you want dobe?"

"Teme I don't know what you did in the three weeks I gave you with her but she is-Oh God, she won't really do it will she?"

"Do what?"

"Leave Konoha. She said she wants to train the medics in Suna because we finally have the hospital in running condition."

The wind is knocked out of him. Did she really find him that repulsive that she felt the need to seek sanctuary in a different village? Was he too forward?

"I can't send her away and she won't listen to anything I say. Or anything Ino says. Or anything Sai says. Or anything Kakashi-sensei says. Or-"

"Hn. I get it dobe."

"So will you talk to her?"

Him? Hadn't he proved his ability to screw things up enough? What more was left of them for him to destroy? He has nothing left to break between the two of them and he doesn't want to face her and he almost says no with his regular scowl in place but Naruto beats him to it.

"If you don't tell her, she never will know will she?"

He doesn't expect Naruto to know and it unnerves him.

"What?"

"Oh come on, normal people think you don't feel anything but us unfortunate bastards at Team 7 have been stuck with you since forever. I know for a fact that you are in love with Sakura-chan."

For a minute, he is too surprised to say anything.

Then all at once, he is hit by a moment of understanding.

_The idiot knows._

For the first time in his life, Sasuke finds himself unable to deny something that ha been staring at him in the face. So, he doesn't bother.

"How long is she leaving for?"

"A year….but that is hardly the point teme!"

"No it isn't dobe."

If she wants to go, she should go…even though he can't remember anything that hurts half as bad as this. In fact he sees Sakura's rash decision for what it really is- a last ditch attempt to get away from him. He's pretty sure Naruto knows too. And he can't for the life of him bear to hurt her anymore, he will let her go because she deserves better. She always has. He realizes that she probably never will love him again, in spite of how much he does and will love her. So he doesn't think about how much it hurts and how much more it will after she leaves as he turns away from Naruto.

"I won't talk to her about it."

"Why?!"

He almost winces at how loud he is. People from Suna can probably hear his disagreement with Sakura's choice.

"Because she doesn't want me to."

For the first time in a long time, Naruto is speechless. Once he does recover himself, he realizes that his friend is too into Sakura to care how much he hurts anymore. He walks back to his chair chuckling with a bounce to his gait as he thinks about how Sasuke didn't even deny being in love with her.

Heh…he's smitten. To think he thought that I wouldn't notice. The teme.

The smile stays on his face until a clerk walks in with a fresh pile of paperwork in hand.

"EH? I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE LAST THREE PILES YET!"

"But Uzumaki-sama, it's on your schedule, see-"

"I KNOW IT'S ON THE DAMN SCHEDULE BUT GIVE A MAN A BREAK! AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME NARUTO?COME ON, LETS JUST GET EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE AND GET SOME RAMEN!"

"Sorry Uzumaki-san, but we are busy at the moment. Perhaps we'll go another time."

Satisfied, the clerk walked out of the office primly leaving Naruto doubting, not for the first time, the "awesomeness" of being Hokage.

-X-

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OVER! Finally! People let me let you in on a secret. There will in fact be a chapter 2 to this. Yes. Thanks for reading again. Do favourite or follow if you liked it whatever your thing is. Now if you really liked it, please please please review. Yup press that button under this. I would love to hear your comments.

I hope you have a great day..and if the day's almost over when you're reading this, I hope you have a great day tomorrow.

Love,

Reader-Chan


	2. Chapter 2

Reader-chan is here! This is the promised second chapter, but before that, shout outs

**crazymel2008**: You are an awesome supporter so thanks! I'm gonna publish that fic I promised you soemday *in ghetto voice*for sure!

**WhatChuuKnowBoutMe**: You are my spirit animal. Thank you so so much for having the exact same opinion of Sasusaku as me and it's nice to see there is someone else out there as crazily sadistic as me when it comes to my OTP!

**Errybody else who reviewed or favourited or followed**: You're all awesome and I love you guys!

This chapter has less angst than before but hey change is good right?

Now in typical Reader-chan style, the story is out for the big bad world to read in the middle of the night and I have had more coffee than should be allowed for seventeen year old girls. Enjoy!

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Disclaimer: Yes I would like to own Naruto. No I do not own it though. Yes I'm sad about it too.

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**Revival**

Realizing you miss someone is not a fun experience. In fact, it slowly creeps onto you and then suddenly drowns you in a tidal wave of it. Sasuke, for one, was not enjoying it. He missed her and there was nothing he could do about it.

The lavender scent that had been in his house had swiftly faded until it was only in the room that had once been hers…and then it was gone even from there and it was lost completely. That was when the extent of her absence hit him. She would not be in her house anymore. She was in a different village, beyond his reach.

It made him miserable and irritable. He'd just glared at the poor genin, who had bought him a summon from Naruto, so hard that the kid literally fled the moment Sasuke slammed the door on his face with a non committal "Hn".

When Sasuke did show up at the Hokage's office, Naruto was beaming, in spite of the piles of undone paperwork around him. He jumped out of his seat the moment Sasuke took a seat himself and started what was clearly going to be an ill planned scheme to get Sasuke to help him with paperwork. Sasuke's probably done three fourths of his paperwork at the end of every month. He's pretty sure the Hyuuga girl does the other one fourth so what Naruto does sitting there escapes him.

"I am at a very special point in my life teme. It is what, I think Hinata-chan calls it a 'Precipitate'."

"Precipitate?"

"You know a steep mountain has one. You fall off of them."

"A precipice?"

"That, teme. Now stop distracting me. As I was saying, I have realized that I haven't been doing my Hokage duties very well."

"So?"

"I thought you would like to help me out here, to you know, help Konoha."

"I'm not helping you with your paperwork dobe."

"EH?"

"Hn."

"BUT, KONOHA WILL FALL TEME! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THE EXTENT OF MY NEED, KONOHA'S NEED. WHAT IF THE WIND COUNTRY DECLARES WAR ON US BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEND THEM ANY RESPONSE TO STUFF THEY SENT ME?"

"I don't care dobe."

It takes Naruto about twenty minutes to convince Sasuke and thirty minutes later Sasuke finds himself next to a drooling, sleeping Naruto. He does the paperwork anyway. He thinks it makes him think less of her. It doesn't. Then again nothing ever has.

-X-

She misses him. She doesn't like to think about it but sometimes, when sleep seems to have escaped her, she lies in bed with a suffocating kind of sadness and sometimes, she even dreams of his raven hair, pale skin and his dark, dark eyes.

She thinks it's unfair. Takeshi was genuinely nice to her. He was caring, he was polite, he was smart and all the other right things. Instead, her stupid heart had to go ahead and fall for the one guy who was a jerk, had an attitude problem and would never love her back.

She broke up with the perfect guy for the guy who was not…but maybe she thinks it's his imperfections that make him perfect; they made him real. So she tries not to think about the fact that she misses him or that she has realized that she is in love with him and probably always will be. She's given up on the "avoiding" to get over him but it hasn't worked. So she's run away.

_Coward._

That's what she had turned into. She has found what seems to be a safe spot, but she hates it here. She misses Konoha and Ino and Naruto and she's run so far away for so little. Perhaps it's an appropriate punishment. She wonders if Takeshi hates her now and then hates herself for how little regret she feels when she imagines Takeshi hating her.

She wonders if Sasuke misses her, even if it is just in passing, she just wants him to miss her too. He probably doesn't though, and like always she was probably being the stupidly hopeful one, but that doesn't change how badly she wants him to miss her and how much it scares her.

Since she has to stay at Suna for a year, she takes it upon herself to drown herself in work. She's going back to how she'd become when her mother died a year ago and she's probably going to fall ill again. She regrets instantly thinking of her mother's death. She'd just come back from a mission and she hadn't had enough chakra to heal her mother…and now she was gone forever.

She'd been sent to Sasuke's about two months after that, and somehow, it had stopped hurting that much and she'd fallen right back into the hole she'd been trying so hard to get out of. She'd fallen back n love with him and he's healed her. He didn't regard her with pity which she had been trying to escape for so long. He didn't boss her around and let her boss him around a bit. He didn't offer to let her have it easy and stop cooking and stuff, she'd said she wanted to and he's agreed. It had been a refreshing change.

She remembers how scared she'd gotten the moment she realized she loved him. She also remembers how she ran away the moment her allotted three weeks were over. But what hurts the most is the fact that she will never know Sasuke's response to her sudden departure.

-X-

He is training when another one of those annoying genin arrives bearing what Sasuke suspects to be the twenty seventh summon from Naruto this month. He is already scowling before he has even entered the Hokage's office. When he does enter, he sees that something is very different from his previous visits to this office. Naruto is nervous.

"Ah! Teme you're here."

"Hn."

"That isn't even a word!"

"Why am I here dobe?"

"I need advice. I know I surprise myself there too, why would I need help from a teme with a stick up his ass…because. Just because."

He's already glaring and starting to leave the office before Naruto finishes the sentence. Of course Naruto being Naruto has somehow managed to jump at him and missed because of Sasuke's well timed shifting and now is sporting a bright red bruise on his forehead.

"No teme you don't understand, I really need help."

"You have a minute before I leave to go back to training."

"EH? HAVE SOME MERCY. COME ON TEME. I'M SERIOUS TROUBLE RIGHT NOW? HOW IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL HINATA-CHAN I WANT TO MARRY HER IF YOU WON'T HELP ME OUT?"

A delicate cough resounded through the room. Ino was standing at the door with a smirk next to a blushing Hinata. He and Naruto can't for the life of them figure out how Ino manages to creep up on people so often at moments like these without them noticing, said people being ninja.

Naruto is a blushing mess himself. He's fidgeting, opening his mouth and closing it, randomly swallowing and then almost tripping over his own feet. Sasuke does not enjoy awkward, at all, so he takes it upon himself to help out his idiot best friend.

"Hyuuga-san, I believe the dobe will spontaneously combust if you don't respond within the next few seconds"

"I-er..umm…Naruto-kun?"

Naruto apparently is too flustered to respond and merely gapes at her.

"He's listening." Ino says smirking smugly as she subtly pushes a very flushed Hinata forward.

"I…I would love to."

"EH?"

"I..um I'd love to marry you."

"REALLY HINATA-CHAN?"

"Yes."

That apparently is all the assurance Naruto needs to promptly jump over his table and rush to his now fiancée and pick her up in his arms.

"OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HINATA-CHAN. I PROMISE I'LL BE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER! SEE TEME I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED! BELIEVE IT!"

Sasuke smirked and started walking out when he heard Ino and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Naruto, I insist you send someone to get Sakura back from Suna this instant. I can't go to a wedding without my best friend. If you're too busy making kissy faces with your wife-to-be, just send Sasuke instead."

"Teme? Yeah ok, hey teme lets get all of Team 7 to come to my wedding."

"Send someone else."

"It's the sexual frustration isn't it?"

"Shut up dobe."

"Definitely the sexual frustration. Now if you'd manned up earlier and asked her out like most normal people do to people they like, you wouldn't have so much stick up your ass."

"Dobe if you want to attend your wedding alive, I would suggest you shut up."

Of course Ino was there and some choice words flew out of her lips and that's how Sasuke found himself at Suna the next week to pick Sakura up.

_But Sasuke, Naruto might send have to Takeshi instead then._

-X-

The trip back from Suna had started out awkward to say the least. The tension between them was thick and so was the humidity. So uncomfortable physically and emotionally became a reality. Very few words had been exchanged between the two and it made the two even more uncomfortable.

Of course with there luck, ice breakers were only to be expected in the form of a ridiculously huge group of rogue nin who felt the need to attempt murder the moment they saw the Leaf headbands. They were no match individually, but they had number and this was going to get messy. Sasuke, being Sasuke had suggested Sakura to run the moment she could and wait for him at the "Golden Spoon" inn in the nearby village. Sakura being Sakura had told him to shove it and let her do her thing.

"Sakura, just go, I'll take care of this."

"I'm sorry I'm unwilling to hide under your skirt but these morons attacked me too so shut it you chauvinistic pig."

"Sakura you were low on chakra to begin with. Now just go, you can still heal me if I get hurt but I can't do it for you. Sakura, please just go."

She doesn't know what convinced her, the desperation in his voice or the horror on his face as he talked about her getting hurt. She doesn't like how it looks. He's very highly outnumbered and she's too low on chakra to fight much longer. She'd learnt from Tsunade-sama about medics not getting too involved in fights and as much as she wishes she didn't have to admit it, he has a point. So she looks him in the eye and says, "You better come back or I will kill you."

She sees his smirk last as she leaves the battle running as fast as she can towards the "Golden Spoon".

He does show up at the inn about six hours later covered in bruises and cuts and what he thinks is a dislocated shoulder. When he enters the room, he is attacked by a blur of pink and a mild scent of lavender and vanilla and tears marring a beautiful pair of green eyes. In that moment he doesn't care about the pain shooting up his shoulder or the rest of his body. He simply lifts his good arm and pulls her in for a hug.

"I-I was s-so scared you wouldn't come back. Who the hell takes that long to come back! You idiot! I hate you."

She's hitting his chest repeatedly and it hurts but he's got a crazy smirk on his face because he can't believe he managed to get out alive with Sakura mainly unharmed and he's holding her in his arms and he is content.

He pulls her closer into him and tucks her head under his and starts calming her down with a series of "its okay's". He is hit by a rather hard sense of déjà vu from the numerous times Sakura had done the same for him. She finally falls asleep against his chest and soon after he does too.

-X-

He wakes up to the feeling of her eyelids fluttering open against his neck and quite frankly, he loves it. Her head was resting against his good shoulder and the moment she moves the pain he's been ignoring since yesterday hits him hard and he lets out a quiet hiss.

She literally jumps off of him and apologizes for not taking care of his wounds before and instantly orders his shirt off and starts healing him. He wonders as he looks at her discreetly while she heals him if she will run away again the moment she is done, if she will be as repulsed by him as she has been for a while and honestly it scares him. Like he does with everything that scares him, Sasuke decides to not think about it. He'll relish the few moments he gets with her and enjoy them.

She is done in about fifteen minutes and he is glad to be able to use his left arm again. He says his "Thank You" and tells her he'll go get breakfast. It is only once he has read the menu that he remembers why he remembered "The Golden Spoon" inn. The food was horrible. He remembered that one time he had been forced to stay there during a mission and then been forced to eat the inedible monstrosity that was their "Our Special Delicious Breakfast Stew" because that was the only item on their breakfast menu.

No amount of hoping would deter the fate of the two regarding the stew. Like the last time, the stew was the only breakfast item on the breakfast menu. He asked the guy at the counter labeled "FOOD REQUESTS. DELICIOUS FOOD WE MAKE. DELICIOUS FOOD WE DELIVER TO YOUR ROOM" followed by the subscript "for a price" to send in two bowls of breakfast to their room.

The promised delicious food and small price were both lies. The food was horrible. Sakura doubted anything in it had been cooked to the correct degree. The vegetables were very, very raw. The meat was extremely overcooked and the viciously salty watery broth made up the stew.

"Nice move Sasuke, we won't die fighting, we'll be killed by this watery atrocity. Who made this crap? Are you sure they aren't trying to torture us via killing every taste bud we have followed by murder via saturated salt solution. It's possible you know, osmosis would really do it."

"I-"

"Oh shut up, there is a very small chance this won't give us food poisoning. In fact, I would rather have food poisoning right now than eat this shit."

"Sakura, we-"

"Which is why I think the smarter move would be to just take out the vegetables, wash them in water and hope it removes the salt and eat it."

"Hn."

"I thought you'd agree too, Sasuke."

So she picks up their bowls and starts decanting the stew to get the vegetables out, her hair falls on her face and she blows it away. He thinks it's adorable. That's when he notices the cut on her lip from yesterday and suddenly, he is inexplicably angry at whoever inflicted it. Then, an image of him kissing her just along the line of the cut hits him and it takes everything in him not to reach out and pull her to him and kiss her senseless

_She doesn't love you._

_ You wish she did…_

-X-

The wedding was supposed to be a month later. Ino, however has made sure to make a huge deal about it, cancelled Sakura's stay at Suna, effectively cutting it two months short and is still upset about the preparations.

Apparently, Sakura has grown thinner during her stay at Suna and hence has set off all the measurements for the dress Ino had had made for her. Sasuke is more worried about her health. She is still healthy, but just barely. Takeshi is worried too apparently. Takeshi has made it a habit to show up when Naruto forces the team to have ramen with him bearing bottles of nutrient supplements which in his "professional opinion," Sakura is short on. He literally shadows Sakura and it annoys him. Takeshi is a constant reminder of everything he is not, was not and should have been.

He wonders why Takeshi still tags behind her even though Sakura is no longer dating him. Perhaps, Takeshi too has fallen as deeply for her as he has. Maybe his presence annoys Takeshi just as much. If she does choose to stay with Takeshi, he won't make any move to deter it. She deserves happiness, happiness that he had taken unrightfully away from her. It will hurt, but it is her choice who she loves, and since it is not him, as long as the person she falls in love with is worthy, he will let them be.

It is probably because of this excessive over thinking that he is rather shocked when a very drunk Sakura shows up at his doorstep holding a half full bottle of alcohol.

"Sashkay"

His lack of response apparently translated to "Welcome to my humble abode" because Sakura mutters a slurred "Why thank you Sashkay" and brushed past him into his house.

"You shee, it was Hinata's bashorette partay but then…er..oh yeah! But then we'd only had sho many drinkses when Ino realished that-that- she had to go home cush Skikamaru, er, Skikakaru, that can't be right, Shika, you know right? He wash coming home. So we had to break it up. The thing ish, I had a bet wish Ino according to which I'm spposhed to stay here for a night…I think..anyway, hope you don't mind.."

She stumbled past the chairs and nearly fell twice while making her way to her room, or the room that had been hers during her stay at his place. He cautiously followed her dutifully reaching out every time she almost fell.

"What did you do to the door?"

"Nothing."

"Why won't it open Sashkay?"

Sasuke reached from behind her and turned the doorknob and opened the door.

"What the hell? I wash doing the same thing."

"Hn."

"You shay that a lot."

"Hn."

"You know I ushed to hate it but then I'm glad you shay it. When I had to live with you I wash really shad because my mother died of a dishease I couldn't cure back then and alsho the fact that you were an ass. Errybody wash sho nishe to me but it annoyed me. Shtop being nice. I know she's gone. You bein nishe to me won't bring her back. But you were jusht you. And it wash comforting. And thank you."

Her mother died. He suddenly feels like more of an ass than ever. She'd died a year ago and he'd paid it no heed. He should have figured out when she'd suddenly stopped taking care of herself like that.

Needless to say, Sasuke is shocked when Sakura pushed him back against the door and began to kiss him rather passionately. Within moments a life time of control vanished to give way to a raw hungry passion and Sasuke is kissing her back just as passionately as he flips their positions to push Sakura against the door instead so that she is sandwiched between the door and him. His lips are on fire and she is spreading a heat in him with her touch leaving the places she hasn't yearning for the same. Before he knows it he's lifted her off the floor because she barly reaches his neck in spite of those crazy six inch heels she had been wearing (and he thinks it's cute as hell) and his hands are holding her waist under her shirt and pressing her even harder into the door. She lets out a moan of "Sashkay".

_Sashkay._

He backs off immediately. She is drunk and he is recklessly taking advantage of her. Sakura passes out just a few moments after he lets her go and as he catches her before she falls, he finds his skin still burns where she is touching him and he can't think of anything he wants to do more than kiss her again. But he doesn't and instead puts her down gently in her bed and pulls the covers over her. He backs out of the room before he does anything else. She is like a drug to him and he needs to back off before he gives in.

That night, for the first time Sasuke can't sleep because he can still remember the delicious feel of her lips against his and the fact that it would never happen again. He didn't deserve her and if she didn't remember, he wouldn't remind her.

-X-

She doesn't remember. Sasuke isn't surprised. He didn't expect her to. She was drunk as hell and memory loss is pretty common for drunken misadventures to be forgotten by the person who was involved in them. So he quietly hands her an aspirin and a large jug of water and a glass. She squints up at him and groans a "Thank You" and attempts to get up only to fall right into his arms. The electricity that shoots through him is hard to ignore and his mind is already thinking about the amazing kiss he shared with her only yesterday but he tells his mind to shut up and helps her to sit down in the bed.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, I-"

"Hn. It's okay. Call me if you need anything else. I'm leaving in an hour"

"Okay"

He's just leaving the room when she calls out to him.

"Sasuke?"

He stops at the door and turns back to her.

"Aa."

"I…I'm sorry for causing you any trouble that I know for a fact I must have caused."

"You didn't cause any."

"But I did just show up at your place without notice so, I-"

"It's okay."

Just before he turns she says something unexpected that stops him in his tracks.

"Takeshi-kun and I broke up."

It takes him a minute to assure himself that's what she really said.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to call Ino"

That gets a full blown laugh out of her. He loves the sound of it.

"No, I think I drank enough over it yesterday."

It strikes him rather odd.

_Wasn't it Hinata's bachelorette party._

"I said something else didn't I?"

"Aa."

"I barely remember it but I think Ino baited me into coming here. Something about lying…"

Ino showed up a few minutes later bearing flowers and asking Sakura rather loudly if she was dating Sasuke yet. Sasuke felt his blood turn cold.

_What if she remembered?_

"What do you mean you're not dating him Forehead?"

"It means I'm not."

"But you can't go back to Takeshi, I can't stand him."

"I'm not going to date him again. Twice is enough times to be a bitch to someone."

As Sakura slumped back down to the table, her hair shifted from her neck to reveal a darkened bruise.

"Sakura."

"What?!"

"Sheesh! Calm down honey. I wasn't lying to my best friend was I? "

"What?!"

"You said you and Sasuke weren't getting touchy feely right?"

"Yeah so?"

"So why do you have a hickey?"

"I-what?"

"Sasuke! My, my! How naughty you two!"

Sasuke had unfrozen by now.

"I didn't give it to her."

"Are you saying she gave it to herself?"

"In a way. She fell over the doorknob and told me to not touch her."

Ino grimaced and then surprisingly bought the useless excuse.

"That actually sounds like her. I've seen it happen live."

"Hn."

"Damn it Forehead! Why weren't you on him!"

"Shut it Pig."

He did give her the hickey though. He remembers doing it. He feels a sudden sense of guilt about not confessing about it to her but if she takes it upon herself to avoid him again after that, he doesn't think he would be able to take it. He's fallen too far down a slope too steep and no matter what he can't climb back up.

-X-

Naruto's wedding is a huge affair. People showed up by the hundreds and there was much crying on the part of Hyuuga household maids while the Hyuuga's themselves remained stoic as ever. Gai-sensei and Lee took it upon themselves to cry and exclaim about the beauty to youth and showed up in their regular spandex suits.

Hinata looked beautiful. She wore off-shouldered dress which was covered in lace and had lace sleeves and she gave off an absolutely angelic look. Tenten, Ino and Sakura were the bridesmaids in short black dresses and heels. Sakura, he thought didn't just look beautiful. Her short hair tied up in a bun with minimal makeup. She was breath taking. Sasuke was the Best Man. His duties mainly involved calming down a very excited Naruto and to stop him from breaking down the door. A job he did rather effectively by hitting him on the head quite frequently.

Since there is no Maid of Honour and because of Ino's ingeniously phrased "You go Forehead!" Sasuke found himself dancing with Sakura.

After the wedding was over and the after party started, Ino came to Sasuke with a slightly annoyed Sakura.

"You see Sasuke, neither of the two of us has high alcohol tolerance and we also have a habit of drinking a lot. Since Shika-kun will be with me, I'm handing Forehead, here, to you. Take care of her. No more than two shots! Bye."

With that, Sasuke found himself facing a rather uncomfortable Sakura.

"You don't really have to."

"Aa."

"Hey! You don't get to walk away. You have to stay here till the end."

"Hn."

"Stop Sasuke!"

"Stop shouting."

"Stop being an ass."

With a sigh he followed her to the bar. He didn't like bars, they were noisy and clouded and apparently Sasuke's stormy expression told Sakura so and with that, she downed her second shot and pulled him out towards the balcony.

"You're welcome."

"Hn."

"You could just talk like normal people."

Sakura wasn't drunk but something about her told Sasuke she'd answer him honestly. So he takes a shot and asks her something he really wanted to know about.

"I'm sorry about your mother."

The surprise on her face is evident.

"Yeah."

"When you were drunk and stayed over at my place, you said I helped you get over her death."

With a sigh she leaned over the railing. The sun hit her at an angle that made it look like her skin was pure gold and her hair was pastel. He can't think of any time he's seen her look more beautiful.

"You did. Unexpectedly, actually. I was so done with being pitied and you didn't and you were nice to me and I needed that."

"Hn."

"I also fell in love with you."

He did not expect that. In fact it takes him a few seconds to process it which are enough to assure Sakura that he doesn't love her.

"I know you don't lo-oof!"

He's pulled her against himself before she can finish her sentence and he's kissing her passionately and desperately all at once. She's like air he's been gasping for ever since he came back to Konoha and denying himself and now that he's given in, there's no stopping him. She reacts almost instantly one of her small hands fisting in his hair while the other wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. He's on fire and so is she and when his lips let go of hers they're on her neck kissing her neck as she gives him access to more to it by lifting her head and he's whispering "I love you" to her because he does. He loves her so much that it physically hurt staying away from her and finally, he is a happy man and he is content and he feels whole.

That's when he sees the hickey. It's almost healed and he wouldn't have seen it if he wasn't that close.

"Sakura?"

"Yeah."

"I kissed you and gave you the hickey when you were drunk that day."

She paused for a moment and then smiled.

"Well Sasuke-kun, I think you need to make up for it."

"I'm s-"

"Shh. Since I don't remember either of them, I think it's only fair that I'll request you to remind me now."

He smirked.

"I agree."

And with that, he kissed her again. And again. And again.

* * *

DUN DUN DUN!

Okay, I know I took some liberties with the wedding and shit cause we don't know if anybody on Naruto is Christian, but I thought it was cute so I left it there. I'm sorry but give a girl a break.

Renewal is officially over. I don't wanna fuck it up any more than it already is (because I wrote it). Now all you people who are still up in arms with the stakes and flame throwers, I have a Make-up-for-it strategy.

To make up for it, here's an extra scene that I wrote but coudn't incorporate here.

* * *

EXTRA SCENE

"Say Sasuke-kun,"

He loved the sound of that, the fact that she was calling him Sasuke-kun again.

"Aa?"

"When I was drunk did I kiss you first or did you?"

"You did."

"So you were so turned on by my awesome drunk kissing skills that you actually kissed back?"

"I was turned on by you."

"Aww, that's sweet…Sasuke-kun?"

"Aa."

"Still, you couldn't man up and ask me out and kiss me first like normal people why?"

"I-er.."

And then the unlikliest thing happened. Uchiha Sasuke blushed.

* * *

Okay, I'm fresh out of Extra scenes and fanfiction chapters. If you have any SasuSaku fanfiction prompts, do P.M. them to me I'll try to write them. Clearly, I'm a NaruHina and ShikaIno shipper (Well and NejiTen too but Kishimoto-sensei happened) too so I'll accept those too.

Please do review if you liked it, I love reviews. I wanna know if you liked it, if you thought it was shit, if you were conflicted about liking my cheap ass writing. I wanna know so send it in in the form of reviews. I'm waiting. Press that review button now and write down your thoughts!

If you didn't review: Why u no review.

Have an awesome day

Love

Reader-chan


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